i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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