I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
