Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
