We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
