I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
