Just fell off a train. Bad.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
