I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
