is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
How external is "for external use only"?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
