He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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