Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize