It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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