Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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