Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
