Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
