I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
