just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
sarcasm needs its own font
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
