Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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