What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
