Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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