I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize