We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
