ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
