your parents love me but you hate me
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
