New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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