dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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