So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
