her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
