I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Randomize
