can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
