if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
