spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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