fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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