we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
