dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
