i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
