She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
