Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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