the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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