super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize