so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
