oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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