I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
