Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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