Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
