i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
you had me at cake vodka
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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