sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
do herpes really smell.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize