I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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