So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
