I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
