I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
