I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I don't deserve a penis
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
