i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
