if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
True college students do jello shots in the library
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize