well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
