Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
