So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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