I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
