Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He passed out mid-signature
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
