You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
